Stupid calling stupid stupid.

I am highly upset at the "trend" that seems to be forming these days with our black "fathers".(African american, dark skinned, whatever your preference of word is).
These days when I ask men who are no longer in a relationship with the mother of their children about the mother of their children, the first thing I hear is, "She is stupid." "She a clown." "She retarded." "She dumb." and often a number of derogatory statements and cuss words.

NOW I KNOW THAT WOMEN do the same thing too, but today, I am on the case of these fathers, because EVERY man I have spoken to within the last two months has given me this story and it has made me understand why more men and women alike say they prefer to be with a spouse who does not have children. (maybe I need to change my circles as well)

MY PROBLEM with these statements is very clear. If you went to bed with and had a child for a woman that is stupid, retarded and a barrage of other negative things, then does it not make you by association just as stupid? Why would you have a child from a stupid retarded woman? ARE YOU RETARDED?

The argument always is that men did NOT KNOW the woman was stupid and lazy until after she got the baby, or she didn't show her true nature until your baby was born. Let me sock it to you brothers - ONE -the woman was ALWAYS that way. She was always mean, nasty, ignorant, miserable and all the other things you call her, but instead of getting to know her personality you were too busy getting to know the contours of her vagina.

TWO -women have a different hormonal makeup than men, I am not using that fact as an excuse, but to say - women go through hormonal changes as a part of life, and during pregnancy those changes are even more evident. Some men don't believe the cravings and other emotions women experience during pregnancy are real, but believe me brother, they are. The things she once liked, she may now detest and it may be confusing to you why the woman is snapping at you and acting mean or crying at everything. As a man, you have to TAKE TIME to understand changes that occur in PREGNANT WOMEN, before you dismiss the woman for acting foolish. THAT IS PART OF BEING A FATHER - NOT JUST DEPOSITING SPERM.
If a woman gets pregnant under high stress (where her parents are upset or she had to quit her job due to morning sickness) she may end up taking it out on you, especially if she is young and "not emotionally ready".

How can you see a baby, beautiful,happy, healthy and talk bad about
the woman that is raising it?

SOME FATHERS boast how much they love their children. How can you look at your offspring, that LIVES in the CARE of it's mother - see it is healthy, clean and happy and TALK BAD ABOUT THAT MOTHER? She may have a nasty attitude, but she is obviously taking care of that child.

There are men who are victims of truly "evil" women, and have truly tried, but DO NOT sit there and say the mothers DO NOT ALLOW YOU TO SEE your offspring - do you know there is COURT and laws to ensure you CAN? AS a man, you are ashamed to be seen in child court to get rights FOR YOUR OWN CHILD YOU CLAIM TO LOVE, but continue to trash talk the mother.

MAN UP. STOP the hate and negativity towards our single mothers. It is HARD as hell to be a mother, especially a young, single one. BEFORE you start to see all the flaws in her - assess the flaws in YOURSELF!! NONE of us are perfect.

I KNOW these types of topics have many sides and angles, but all I am asking my black fathers today is to -
FORGIVE and MOVE PAST IT - what's done is done and the CHILDREN you claim to love are picking up on the negativity and aggression and becoming angry, bitter individuals learning how to hate with the inability to forgive or show  real love and compassion.

(PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS POST PERSONALLY, this is just my opinion on what I have seen and dealt with personally. I applaud all you fathers that do your best OR try your best. God bless you.I will deal with the women at a later date.)

Bisous!!xoxo