Selfish Parenting 101

As a child of the eighties, I have watched my generation and the generation that followed spiral down into an abyss of no morals, values, self -worth or self esteem. Sex and selfish behaviors took the place of all else and I often wonder if I am the last of a dying breed.

An issue that came to me recently was that of young women and men who want to have children, but don't want to be in a relationship with the parent of the child.
Well, excuse me for giving a damn about the well - being of the future black Bajan generation whose young people are so broken, angry and bitter, yet no one wants to admit to seeing the connection between broken homes and jail sentences.

I have had a male "friend" who wanted to have a child. He didn't want to be married, he didn't care if the mother came around or not. All he knew was that HE wanted a child.
Perhaps his desire to love and nurture a child the way his father did not love and nurture him was admirable, but I wish he could have had a uterus, vagina and breast so he could also conceive, bear the contractions, deliver and breast feed, for the only way I could sum up his behavior was selfish and if you are that selfish as to only be thinking of what YOU want then you should be able to do everything for YOUR self. How can you want a baby and not "want" the mother? How can you lay with a woman and then disregard her opinion about the child that she waddled with for nine months?

And yes, likewise there are women out there seeking men with "good genes" to have babies for because good looking babies are what counts (sarcasm, people). Dad doesn't need to be in the life of a child -  mothers have been raising kids solo for years haven't they? If my child is good looking it will be okay.
Sometimes I wonder what alien aircraft these people were thrown off.

Children have parents because they need parents. Caught the S? Plural, as in more than ONE - work with me here. If we were made to have them alone and raise them alone we would have been asexual beings (google it if you don't know what asexual means).

I wish that the idea of raising kids together to our young people was more than just having a child together, where one parent visits on weekends and birthdays and you trade on Christmas.
Having children and thinking the child will be okay if it does not see it's mother or father.

Maybe it will! Maybe your child will grow to adult hood and be just fine never knowing or having interaction with it's sperm or womb donor. On the other hand, maybe it will be bitter, resentful, hateful and have a ton of issues stemming from not feeling the love of that parent.
I am no social worker, I don't have the stats. But I look around me every day and see children angry, bitter and confused. Acting up and acting out and being looked upon as social deviants raised in broken homes and dysfunctional families.

If a child of a two parent homes gets into a fight, ever notice there is less drama and emphasis placed on that child than a child of a single parent home? The child of the two parent home gets a pass for having a "bad day" but the first question the teacher or guidance counselor asks the single parent child is if it is having any issues stemming from the mother of father that is absent in their life?
More often than not the single parent child was just having a bad day too, but studies indicate single parent children are more likely to have behavior and emotional problems.

I am not bashing anyone. I know for a fact some relationships do not and cannot work out no matter how you twist it. I am simply concerned about the direction of our generation.
I wish I could see more families. And I mean more families together under one roof. I wish children could see their parents kissing and hugging instead of screaming and cursing each other in the street. I wish young people would stick out trying to make their relationships work the way they stick out that they can handle it alone.
I applaud you for having the courage and guts and strength to handle raising your kid alone, but it was not intended to be that way.

I think this generation has been "raised" to not take on any form of commitment, be it marriage or long term relationships. Men are running from the proverbial ball and chain and women have been brainwashed into being strong and independent. That way of thinking is ruining our society and destroying our future generation.

Food for thought.