Friday, December 14, 2012

Put yourself in another's shoes...

Recently I have not shared any local news and so I thought I would touch briefly on one of the recent topics trending in Barbados.

All of us have heard by now of the case of the father who forgot his baby in the backseat of the car and due to suffocation in the heat of the vehicle the child subsequently died.

Now, I will admit, when the story was first told to me (in the salon, no less) I was highly appalled and agitated. My first thought was what kind of negligent parent forgets their baby in the back seat of their car, when we have heard one too many stories of deaths in hot vehicles in cases where parents rushed out to collect some item of shopping thinking it was safe to leave their baby for a brief minute?

When the full story came to light, I allowed myself to properly absorb it, but at fist it was still it bit hard for me to digest. That was the point where I had to put myself in the shoes of this man.
When it comes to being forgetful, I am the queen of the kingdom. I have left on many minor appliances, forgotten the keys to my workplace on various occasion and such other things that could be overlooked or considered trivial in the comparison to the life of a child being at risk. But here is where you have to allow ourselves to see how something small can turn into something big.

What I had to do was to imagine having the number of kids and responsibilities of this man, as well as falling into his daily routine. Some of us with or without children who are creatures of habit, understand how working by routine keeps life as we know it from falling apart. Something as simple as drinking coffee every morning is a habitual act that if not done can throw off an entire day for some people.
So, with that in mind it becomes easy to see how a man that drives his children in a specific pattern everyday would be able to falter when the pattern was changed.

How many times have you changed your routine to accommodate something or someone else? A friend may have called to say there is a detour on your usual route, but even though you have planned in your head to turn right instead of left at the junction to accommodate the detour, you end up turning left anyway because the human brain and body often falls victim to habit.
Such was the case with this father, who may have prepared himself to adjust his schedule that morning, but as a creature of nature, his brain and body followed his regular routine.

It was then I truly understood the heartache that weighed on this man and the guilt that he would forever live with. I wonder if the mother of this child could forgive him for what can be deemed as an innocent mistake, yet one that has undoubtedly torn their lives.

For the few who still are unable to show sympathy to the plight of this man, consider this. You left home for work one morning and forgot your iron on, a simple mistake, until you come home and find your house burned to the ground. Then you find out some family member returned home from work ill during the day and was asleep in bed when the plug sparked and caught the drapes and the house went up in flames.
An innocent mistake - a moment of forgetfulness turned into tragedy.

Before you judge, take the age old advice of walking in another's shoes. Sometimes it is good to asses a situation from a perspective rather than your own.
My heart goes out to that family.


Bisous. xoxo

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