INDEPENDENT - free from influence guidance or foreign/outside control (thinking or acting for ones self) - self governing - self sufficient - not relying on others...
Hmm... makes it kind of difficult to asses right?
In my opinion being independent does not mean you do not expect or accept things from men. You can take a man's gift, money, kindness or help, with out being ANY LESS self sufficient than you were the day before. But the fact is to not be dependent on these acts of kindness or goodwill.
It seems that these days independence goes right next to being single, lonely and bitter. Women have focused so much on doing it all alone, we have boxed ourselves into a corner where we act like any interaction with men will cause us to fall sick and die.
Men and women were both created to co-exist. You can be in a relationship or date and still be independent. I think independence and compromise have to find even ground. Trying to be the larger than life Bionic women that we feel we were destined to be are giving more men the excuse of being lazy and negligent.
First of all, I strongly believe, being independent stems from having a great respect for self. If you respect yourself enough, you will want to be able to hold your head high with the knowledge that you worked hard for the things you own and did not acquire them by sponging off the hard - earned money of another. I think if you as a woman respect yourself, then it is only natural that you expect any man (or woman for that matter) that comes along to respect you also.
If that is indeed the case, we set up certain standards for ourselves, and certain "rules and regulations" that we expect anyone coming into our lives to meet.
Example - if you don't smoke and wish others not to smoke around you because it throws of your allergies, or you simply don't like it, then THAT is a standard or rule that you expect your friends to respect.
Chivalry goes hand in hand with manners, something lacking in men today. If a man suggest you are independent therefore you can open your own door - get rid of him - and fast. The matter at hand is NOT that you claim to be self sufficient, it is that he is lazy and selfish.
If you are a woman just going about your business and a man is not kind or mannerly toward you, big deal - get past it, that is the nature of humans in this modern time. We expect people to be polite and considerate, most of them simply are not.
If you are talking about dating or actively seeking a partner who will not offer you his jacket when you are cold because you are independent and should have brought your own- RUN FROM HIM. He is not worth a minute of your time.
A man may seem like he is giving you space and freedom to do your thing, but what he is doing is finding an excuse not to treat you the way any proper man should treat a woman.
An this is not a battle of the sexes. I open doors for my friends, I hold hands with my female cousin and I am very much heterosexual. I love my family and friends, therefore I show it. If a man is interested, he will show it and he will want to show it. He will not allow your independence to deter him from showing affection in whatever way - be if gifts or gestures.
REMEMBER men also have egos and feelings that we as women (AS HUMAN BEINGS) need to take into consideration.
ALLOW a man to BE A MAN with you. Let him pay for a date, let him drive, let him hold the bags if he can and is willing. If you want to be the type of independent woman that doesn't need anything from anyone anywhere - go live in the mountains.
Bisous!!xoxo
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