Touchy Topic - High or low?

Topic as sent in - How do you cope with a partner whose sex drive doesn't match yours?

Let me dive right in today, no pun intended, and give you these two words...
 COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE.

When sex drives are out of sync one partner will always be frustrated or unhappy

It's amazing to me that in an era where sex is portrayed on a regular basis in some form or fashion all around us, be it music videos, billboards, commercials, posters and whatever else, that people are still apprehensive when it comes to talking about it with their partners.
If you find yourself such a situation talking is the first step to dealing with it.



Now, by not matching it is obvious one drive is high and one is low, therefore there will be frustration on both parts. One person will be under pressure to give and give and the other will be frustrated by the lack of receiving.
The human body works differently for everyone. The first thing to determine is weather or not the low or high drive is irregular. By this I mean the person with the high drive may have a sex addiction, which is now an actual diagnosed illness treatable with medication. The person with the low sex drive can have a loss of libido due to illness, medication, stress, eating habits and a wide spectrum of other such things.

Your partner is not a mind reader
They cannot always determine what you want or do not want
TALK to them.

If neither of these things are the case and the two drives just do not balance out, the next step is the compromising. If you are in a well balanced healthy relationship, (meaning if you and your partner are harmoniously in sync about everything else not sex related) and you do not wish to loose the other great factors of it, then both of you will have to mutually decide how what is done and when. Who gets the quickie sometimes and who gets the all day marathon on Sundays and how to switch it up.
And I do stress both and mutually for the fact that one person may very well be willing to adjust their lifestyle to suit the other, but one of the drawbacks to solo decisions in a two person relationship, is the possibility of resentment brewing in time to come.
There have been individuals who have changed their lifestyle to accommodate the needs of their partner and have done very well, but it takes time as well as patience on the part of the partner as well.


There are different strokes for different folks, again, no pun intended. In relationships there are such things as deal breakers. You will have to determine just how important and influential sex in the relationship is to you and make any decision based on that.
If you can't make it work, make it walk. No point wasting time trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Find someone who is better in sync with you.