Black woman - SHUT IT!

Not your legs, your mouth (though the concept of shut your legs may make a good post yet).

I am happy for my black women, my sisters, my comrades in womanhood, who are independent and strong, but I just don't need you to remind me every day.
I intentionally posted this photo on the left and if you are a sucker for correct grammar, punctuation and spelling as I am, you would have already noticed the error. To me it was a representation of the women who are always boasting and bragging how strong and independent they are for two reasons. One - those women have "faults", "flaws" and "imperfections" just like every other human. And two - some of them are just stupid and dumb as hell.

My take on a strong independent woman is this. If you are indeed so strong and brave and smart and all the things that are considered to go along with it, you have no need to constantly broadcast it to the world, for a true characteristic of strength is humility. Bet they didn't teach that in Female Independence 101.

Black women are taking the concept of strength and independence and using it as a battering ram to break down black men and as a cover for their own bitterness and hurt. 
I hear them when I go to work at the salon bragging about how they let men know they don't need their money or time or help or anything, because they are so strong and independent. Honey, please, you would NEVER have to tell a man that you are strong or independent. A man would look at the life you live and be able to draw that conclusion.

Most females that now claim to be strong and independent have become so due to the fact that some man left them in the lurch, heartbroken, maybe with kids, maybe after a messy divorce. It is always these women that go around broadcasting their independence and strength.

If you CHOOSE to be alone, that's fine. If you CHOOSE to focus on a career rather than a relationship, that's fine! And if you choose to be single rather than settle for an unambitious player who is just out to hit it and quit it, I support you one hundred percent and ten and agree you are indeed a strong woman for waiting for someone to treat you right, rather than just settle for trash because you are lonely.
But there is always a thin line that gets crossed when women get on their high horses with this" I don't need a man" chant.

You MAY NOT need a man and that is good for you. I myself have decided to be single for a number of years that would seem preposterous to some women, but I find no need to jump up and down and claim my single-hood as a sign of independence. What happens to most women is they become so indignant in their quest to prove they can do it alone, they end up being blinded to the really good men that come along and would love to have them by their side. They hurt good men because they have been hurt by bad men and the cycle continues.

Why do you have to be single to be strong and independent? You can have a man or husband, but still be a woman of high standing at work and in the community, a woman who makes money and needs not trouble her man for material things, who loves and cares for her kids and makes her man feel like he is worthy of love and affection too. Is that not also strength? To be able to juggle all that and feel at ease with the life you have made for yourself?


My black women, get a grip. Assess and re-assess yourselves. Why do you find it necessary to constantly promote your strength and independence. Could there be some self validation that you are seeking? Are you REALLY as strong and as independent as you claim? Pushing men (or people in general) away does not make you strong. Seeking  affirmation from others about your character does not make you independent.
And if you were truly a strong independent black woman, you would know that.


Think about it - and FIX it!!

Bisous!!xoxo