Maintenance Misery - Part 1.

 It seems that Barbadian men have developed this negative attitude toward women who "put their child fathers in court" as we say in Barbados. They all seem to believe it is the most wicked, spiteful, demeaning thing a woman can do to a man, but yet, it is not wicked, spiteful or demeaning for a man to have a child and not provide one single thing for it.

SOME, yes, some mothers are blessed with men truly interested and caring and making provisions of money and time for their children and they still appeal to the court due to their own intentions and malice. But if a woman is "wicked" enough to do such a thing, the man should not be upset. By taking his money through the court system he has a regulated way of proving he is doing the right thing, rather than provide his offspring with a barrage of items that the mother will deny him ever giving.

My next issue with these whiny men is this. When you are taken to court, you stand before a judge and she asks questions to assess your financial situation. If you are incapacitated or are unemployed or have some other perfectly legitimate reason why you are unable to provide for your own offspring, the judge is not an idiot that she will slap you with a monthly sum you cannot afford. 
Men go into court and AGREE along with the mother of the child the sum of money to be paid to the court every month. So why are they coming out and banding together with other men and talking about their wicked women when they stood before a magistrate and AGREED to their own terms and conditions?
You are NOT made to pay a fine as some men who have never been to court seem to think, and you are not just made to pay based on your job or social status, you are made to pay based on what you AGREE to. You may make a million dollars, but if the woman suggest you pay ten dollars a month and you AGREE to it, that is what you pay.

Do men know that THEY too can apply for maintenance? Haven't I said this before in some other blog post? I am certain. If women are so wicked and unfair, why don't men go to the maintenance court and suggest to the judge they are willing to pay a set fee for their own children without the mother having to take that step.

Some women out there are struggling so hard, and I am not talking about the ones with four and five kids. To be a good mother to one child calls for time and money.
I know a father who pays three hundred dollars a month to the court and claims he won't give his son another cent or "another damn thing" because he has to pay that fee. The thing is, that man was not providing ANYTHING prior to that day, not even time, and he stood in court and AGREED to that minor fee from his government paycheck, which far exceeds any salary the mother has ever made in her life.
 I know this because I stood there with that mother with her heavy heart, cursed and threatened by that man's girlfriend for being wicked and hateful. The mother only asked for a mere three hundred dollars because she still considered that man had his life to live and bills to pay. But on her minimum wage job, she could scarcely by food far less pay rent and was left with no other option.

That woman has feelings too. She ALSO felt demeaned to have to stand before a judge and feel like a fool for spreading her legs for a man that didn't look back at her. She didn't blame anyone but herself. She took that $300 a month and made it work for eighteen years, no matter how school items, groceries and the general cost of living went up.

STOP THIS NEGATIVITY toward women, some are bad and some are good, just as is the case with men. All women do NOT take maintenance money and buy weave. 
Men out there are quick to judge if women need help or not, but ARE ANY of them saying to a male friend - "Buddy, take care of your child."

This was really working my nerves, I over said my quota for today. And there is a lot more brewing in my mind, but for now...
Good fathers, God bless you. 

Bisous!!xoxo