Her First Love.

Hip Hop artiste Teairra Marie sang -  "I ain't had no daddy around when I was growing up, that's why I'm wild and I don't give a ****."

In the same way female children look up to their mothers for their ideas of beauty, fashion and behavior, they look up to fathers for the idea of what a man should be. How he dresses, acts and most importantly treats the women in his life (by women I don't mean girlfriends, I mean, mother, daughter, grandmother, old lady next door, etc...)
A man that is constant in physically or verbally abusing his girlfriend, wife and/or children sets the ideal in the mind of a young girl of how she should be treated. She will always be walking on eggshells around men, wondering when they will lash out and curse her out or box her to the floor.

 A man who speaks lovingly, scolds gently, takes a moment to listen and laugh with his daughter sends her out into the world  with a kind and gentle spirit, trusting, open and willing to love rather than always trying to protect her heart from hurt.

This photo of Will Smith and his daughter Willow brought back memories of moments shared with my own father. Though my days were mostly spent in the presence of my mother, the times my father was available to me, he spent nights reading me Greek Mythology and singing duets with me while strumming his guitar. I thought my father had the most beautiful voice in the world, and though there may be male singers that may be able to surpass the vocal skills of my dad, he will always be my singing superstar. Just to hear him singing Edelweiss makes you want to break down and cry.

I sat in awe at my father's book shelf reading titles of books too advanced for my age, but the stories of Greek Mythology my father told were so impressive, I wondered what other great adventures lay tucked away on his shelf. Reading and music are still my first loves. To this day I am happy to be locked away for hours with a novel or singing at the top of my voice in my room. In the years gone by, I took on a studio recording contract and focused my love of reading into writing novels of my own.

Yes, I am certain my mother could have done the same with the same result. Coming from a two parent home, my mother also played a great role in my development, but fathers need to understand the love and admiration that comes from him is of a different nature than that of a mother or other female.

A young woman as she begins to date and/or look for a life partner recalls the type of man her father was, or was not. A woman who had a father that loved, listened, talked, encouraged and inspired will seek (often unknowingly) to acquire those qualities. 

A woman who had a father of the opposite nature may either believe that is the only type of man she can be wth because she has made herself able to deal with or handle such a man OR she may not want that type of man understanding that his behavior is destructive, but may find herself attracting or gravitating toward men of such nature, due to the attitude already deeply rooted in her.

 Just to have daddy's undivided attention can often be enough.

I have no degree in human behavior. Many factors affect the actions and behaviors of a child when it becomes an adult. All I am saying to you fathers is this - You may not be able to sing ballads like my dad, or even know how to read and therefore cannot read to your daughter. (it is not uncommon).

- TEACH her to catch fish if that is what you are good at, teach her to swim, to run, to handstand, ride a bike. Those things are just as important as her knowing how to put on makeup and do her hair.

-SHARE in her girly play, clap when she spins like a ballerina and drink her pretend tea. DO NOT feel too manly to do this. You are preparing your daughter for the world and teaching her how to interact.

-TELL your daughter she is beautiful, if she is black as midnight or white as snow. Tell her she is smart, she is talented. And most of all tell her you love her and don't stop telling her no matter how old she gets. It is the one thing a woman never grows tired of hearing. 

MAKE GOOD MEMORIES.

Bisous!!xoxo

I leave you with the words of Alanis Morissette from one of my favorite songs - Princes Familiar. In it she speaks of characteristics she wishes fathers to instill so that in the quest for men of tiher own, daughters would be able to identify the man that is familiar to them. A man like their own father.

Papa love your Princess so that she will find loving Princes familiar, 

Papa cry for your Princess so that she will find, gentle Princes familiar, 

Papa listen to your Princess so that she will find attentive Princes familiar, 

Papa hear your Princess so that she will find curious Princes familiar,

Papa laugh with your Princess so that she will find funny Princes familiar,

Papa respect your Princess so that she will find respectful Princes familiar,