Touchy Topic - Would you Date a Broke Man?

( Touchy Topic was created for my friends/readers to give me topics that I may not have considered talking about, or for them to pose questions to me they would like a response on.

I used this title from the Bajan phrase - "that's a touchy topic" when the subject of discussion is controversial, or it is difficult to choose sides in the matter.)

TOPIC as submitted - Would you date and/or have a relationship with a man who is broke? He is nice and sweet, but has no money.

Now, being "broke" means to have no money. Some people claim to be "broke" when they have no money in their wallets or purses, but they may still have an active credit card, bank card and bank account. For other people being broke is having NO MONEY ANYWHERE, not even a cent collection in a sawed off sprite bottle at home.

Today we are dealing with the latter. 

A man may be "broke" for many reasons. With today's rapidly declining economy, loss of jobs are prevalent and that for many has been unavoidable. A man may also be paying a morgage, or repaying loans and debts which would result in him being broke after his responsibilities are handled. 

On the other hand, the man may be an unambitious, could care less male, who is happy to eat from his mother, and "borrow" money from his friends (and girlfriends) to buy the few things he needs. It is up to a woman to decipher what type of man she is dealing with and if that is the type of man she WANTS to be dealing with. 

If the man is sweet and caring, opens doors, rubs feet and makes tea. Those are qualities lately lacking in many men and qualities a woman will be inclined to fall for. I am an avid believer in PERSONALITY over FINANCES for the fact that money and material things come and go, but the love and strength of a partner will be able to hold you up through the hard times. However, the man may be a parasite playing nice in an attempt to work on your emotional side and get you to finance his needs. 

If the man proves to be genuinely good, a woman must then match her personality to that of the man she is attracted to. If she is a woman who likes lavish things and can easily afford them, she may not mind a man who is experiencing financial difficulty. If she is a woman who likes to buy her man lavish things and spoil him, she also perhaps won't mind if he makes no money or can't/won't get a a job.

"What?! You STILL ain't get no job?"

IF, on the other hand, she is a woman who likes to be spoiled, treated, and bestowed with gifts, then she would not be able to accept a man who is broke. Even if she is momentarily caught up in his charm, her true nature will overcome. If SHE DOES decide to stay with the man, he will need to get some source of income or she will end up becoming resentful toward him. 

Likewise, a woman with kids, bills, rent and other responsibilities that may need a helping hand from time to time, may TRY to love this man for his personality and stick with him, but if she cannot run to him for financial help when she is down, it will cause a rift between them. Chances are she will go running to someone else, who she will feel more gratitude toward.

Personally, I would work with a man who I see is facing difficult times and is broke IF I ALSO SEE that he is genuinely trying to better himself and not just laying at home moping and complaining that he has no luck or the world hates him or that work is only for slaves and slavery is over. 

Who cares if we're broke? We have each
other!"

Chances are, if he is indeed a caring loving man, he will want the best for me (and for himself, because you must first care about yourself before you can care about others) and for our relationship.

Time, conversation, walks on the beach, all those things are sweet, wonderful and important, but don't be fooled people, money is also essential to the equation - not just for my man to give me gifts and take me out to eat (which every woman enjoys once and a while) but for everyday needs (bills) and little luxuries we take for granted (stove, television, washing machine). 

For some women love conquers all. They would give up Gucci and Prada and live on an island wearing a loin cloth around their waist with the man they love. Others will cook, clean and kiss your feet, but you gotta show them the pay check on Friday.

You have to decide what category you fall into - and as Uncle Beres says, "If your heart's not in it. Let it go. Stop wasting time, don't fool yourself, it won't grow."

Bisous!!xoxo

FOOTNOTE!

You can submit your touchy topic to cocoabisou@gmail.com OR

stefiemontez@gmail.com

Those of you who know me personally can also submit to my facebook inbox. 

I may not post on the topic if it is too raunchy as my blog is not listed for "adult content"

Thanks for your submissions!! I will cover a new topic every Wednesday and Thursday!