Touchy Topic - Should my hair be natural for my daughter's sake?

Topic As Submitted - If a woman is trying to teach her daughter to love her natural hair, should she also have natural hair?

It would make sense wouldn't it? It is easy to have the do as I say not as I do rule, which would prevent your daughter from relaxing her hair until she is at the legal age of adulthood, but if you are trying to instill the value of self - esteem and self love, that is a lesson better shown that preached. 

Before the rap star/rock star/celebrity posters go up on the rooms of their walls, the first person a child idolizes is it's mother or father. Your may be unaware that your daughter waves her hand around like you do or says the same catch phrase until someone draws it to your attention. 

Young girls will put on mummy's shoes and play dress up with her accessories. It is all fun and games, but this is how your daughter is learning to perceive  beauty. Your relaxed  or natural tresses will become her idea of beautiful hair. If your hair is relaxed  and hers is not, she may not like her own natural hair because it is a different texture and therefore not beautiful like mummy's, for she aspires to be like you.

I am not saying it is impossible for you to have relaxed hair and your child to grow to love her natural tresses. I have an aunt who has thick natural hair that broke every comb but a steel one.She relaxes it to make it more manageable in her hectic work life. My cousin, her daughter, has a head full of identical thick healthy hair, which is now in lush beautiful dreadlocks, and has never once had a relaxer in her twenty six years of living.

My mum wore many styles, relaxed hair, braids, natural fros, twist. I am like that today, I switch my style up all the time. That is not a self-esteem issue. I love me some me. My mother and I are both creative souls who design and make clothing and bags, sing, decorate...our hair styles are just another part of how we express our creative burst. I am like my mother in that way. My cousin is like her mother in a different way.  You must recognize what traits you share with your own daughter, for those are the aspects you will have most effect on.

Teaching a child to love her hair is part of teaching her to love herself. People have the misconception that people who wear natural hair love themselves more than people who don't.
Black women have even now become prejudiced to women with relaxers and accuse them of being self - hating disgraces to the black race.                          

Both my auntie and mum taught my cousin and I that we were beautiful, smart and talented, among many other things. They gave us the chance to see the world from all angles, not just as natural hair girls or straightened hair girls. We were taught to accept all people and styles and seek out the value in a person, rather than a head of hair.

From these teachings we have come to make our own choices, knowing to be ourselves is a beautiful thing. 

I do believe in leading by example, your daughter may grown up and seek to relax her hair, but it does not mean she will forget mummy's fro, twist out or coiled curls. The important thing is for her to know her hair in it's natural state is beautiful, along with her body, soul and spirit.THAT, mummy, is what you seek to teach your daughter.

Bisous!!xoxo

I absolutely adore this photo.  I could not tell if the mother's hair was relaxed or dread locked or braided, but you know what? It didn't matter. What shines through in this photo is NOT the hair of mother and child, but the love. I wish we spent less time worrying about external beauty and focused on internal beauty.